


Remember, With Love

by TMar



Category: Star Trek: The Next Generation
Genre: F/M, Memory Alteration
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-20
Updated: 2018-12-20
Packaged: 2019-09-23 10:39:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17078783
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TMar/pseuds/TMar
Summary: During an assessment mission to an alien planet, Beverly goes missing. Picard decides to be the one to find her and bring her back.





	Remember, With Love

**Author's Note:**

> This shares the central concept with the Voyager episode "Workforce", the Stargate SG-1 episode "Beneath the Surface" and the FarScape episode "Thank God It's Friday... Again", although I wrote this in October 1993 before any of those episodes had aired. It's therefore another example of tropes-on-parade!

REMEMBER, WITH LOVE

When his first officer stepped off the transporter pad without his chief medical officer, Captain Jean-Luc Picard immediately knew that something was wrong. Beverly Crusher always returned promptly, and if she didn't it would be due to some emergency which they'd know about. As he hadn't been informed of any such emergency, Picard knew there was trouble.

"Trouble, Number One?"

Riker's face as he looked at Picard - strange though it seemed under alien make-up - was his answer. "I'm afraid so, Sir. Doctor Crusher and I were meant to meet at the fruit stall in the town square. She wasn't there, and I couldn't get her on communicator."

"Could she just be late?"

"I don't think so. She always turned up for our meetings before."

The pair exited the transporter room, still talking. "Data can scan the surface for her signal. In the meantime, Commander, perhaps we should hear your evaluation of this planet."

"Aye, Sir," replied Riker.

"Mister Data, Doctor Crusher is missing. I want you to initiate a scan for her communicator signal." Picard said into his communicator.

"Yes, Captain," came Data's voice.

The captain and first officer stepped into the turbolift. "I don't think these people are remotely ready for First Contact," said Riker. "They're still very superstitious. They may have warp power, but I don't  
think they're going to use it to explore space."

"Superstitious? In what way?" 

The turbolift doors opened, and they stepped onto the bridge, to be greeted by Data, who did not have good news. "I am sorry, Captain, but there is no trace of Doctor Crusher's communicator signal." 

Picard and Riker looked at each other knowingly. They'd expected this.

"All right," said Picard, not showing any of the concern he felt. "Conference."

***

Riker was briefing the command crew on the situation. "This planet, while it has apparently reached 22nd century level as far as some kinds of technology goes, is still in a - I suppose 'dark ages' would be the word - where other things are concerned."

"The so-called Dark Ages on Earth were - "

"Not now, Mister Data."

"Yes, Sir."

Riker smiled at the exchange. "Okay, maybe 'dark ages' wasn't the right word. Never mind. They're still very superstitious in some areas. As far as Beverly and I could make out, there are three rival religious groups, analogous to three Earth religions, Hinduism, Catholicism and Animism - not in content, but in their practises and some of their attitudes."

"Which is the largest group?"

"We think they are rivals because they each seem to have a similar number of followers. Of course, there was no way to check as they don't keep records."

Picard found this interesting. "No records?"

"Not of population, not that we could find. They have two colours of people, yellow-skinned and green, but there doesn't appear to be any sort of divisions or discrimination based on that."

"One area they're obviously modern in," said Troi.

"Or," replied Riker, "they can change at certain periods in their lives. There was no way to check."

"And space travel?" asked Worf.

Riker shook his head. "Their belief is similar to an ancient Earth belief, that the world stands on pillars and is covered with a dome. The stars are decorations to them, so for us to say we come from another star would mean nothing."

"Government?"

Riker shook his head. "There seem to be religious leaders from each group who run each community."

"I don't understand," Troi put in suddenly. "If they are still superstitious in so many ways, how could they develop warp power?"

"That's something no one knows," answered Will. "We're only here because it was reported that they HAD warp power. If it's as risky as they think to send a survey team to stay here, we might never know."

Data now had something useful to contribute to the conversation. He looked at Picard. "Sir, the last attempt at survey was 63 years ago. That survey team, all except for one, disappeared. No trace was ever found. It was decided that surveying the planet was too risky."

Picard stood up, pulled his jacket straight. "I'd agree. If they're not going to use their new power to explore space, we really have no business being here." He turned to Riker. "Number One, prepare your  
report for Starfleet Command. Mister Data, initiate scan for an Earth-human life-form."

"Sir, that will take..."

"I know it will take a long time, Commander. Therefore I suggest you begin immediately."

"Aye, Sir."

***

Beverly Crusher got up in the morning, put on her clothes, tidied her cubicle, and went to conduct early morning dedications. She was perfectly content here, ever since she had been brought here two days ago. She found the quiet life fulfilling. These people had found her walking in the square, and brought her here. Crusher knew this because they had told her; she couldn't remember it. She believed them when they said her life had been meaningless before, and now she would find meaning within their community.

The community was made up of people dedicated to the healing of the world. There were males and females of both skin-hues here, but they stayed by themselves in their own cubicles, and lived in harmony. No male or female was to touch another, for this would pollute their purpose. Every day they would rise, dress, and conduct devotions. They would say silent verses related to the world - which they naturally thought was the only one - and the beauty that surrounded them. They believed that by doing this, their 'healing' energy would spread peace and harmony over everyone. They would also go out into the communities, speaking, clearing up, trying to find more people to join their cause. It was, of course,  
believed that someday everyone would be part of the cause, and their job would be done.

Beverly Crusher hummed to herself as she said her verses and tended the garden in her violet robe.

***

"Sir," said Data, "I have found the human life-reading."

"That was quick," said Riker from the command chair.

"She is only three kilometres from the location where you were to meet her."

"Is she being held by aliens?"

"Negative, Sir. She appears to be planting vegetables on an open area of land. There are aliens nearby, but they do not appear to have weapons of any kind."

Strange, thought Riker. If escape were possible, as it seemed to be, he knew Beverly Crusher _would_ get away. All he said, though, was, "Inform Captain Picard."

"Can't we just beam her up?" Picard asked when he arrived on the bridge and was appraised of the situation.

"Negative, Sir. There is too much risk that one of the aliens will see such a thing. It is less risky to beam someone down and have them escort Doctor Crusher to a place where both can safely beam up."

Picard was nodding. "Very well. I'll leave as soon as I've had my appearance altered."

"You?" asked Riker incredulously. "I forbid it."

"I am going, Number One."

"Captain, I - " began Riker, about to launch into his standard "too dangerous to risk the captain" speech. But Picard cut him off. "Doctor Crusher trusts me. We've known each other a long time. If I can get to her and find out why she didn't come to the rendezvous, it will save time." 

Riker opened his mouth. 

"No arguments, Will." Picard's tone softened, indicating it was something he had to do, for personal and well as business reasons.

***

Picard sparkled into being under a tree not ten metres from where Beverly was planting vegetables. When he saw her he immediately went over, saying, "Beverly! There's not much time. Come over here by the trees so we can return to the Enterprise."

"Who are you?" she asked.

"Who..." began Picard, but was interrupted by the arrival of two green-skinned aliens. The first away team had altered their skin to yellow because it was easier, and put on general trader's robes. Beverly,  
however, no longer wore those robes. Instead she had on what Picard would have sworn was a nun's habit except for the fact that it was violet in colour, and not as long. These aliens wore the same violet robes, though they were male. But these aliens behaved deferentially towards him.

"Healing One," they said, "we were not told you were to visit."

Healing one? thought Picard, looking down at the robe he was wearing. Data had synthesised it from the visual records Riker had brought back; they hadn't known what it was, but Data had hypothesised  
that the violet and green outfit was for a religious official of some kind and would ensure safe passage on the planet. Apparently, Data had been correct. 

"It was a sudden decision," Picard said quickly.

"We will prepare your lodgings. Are you here for devotions, or a festival?"

"Devotions," said Picard, taking a chance.

"We will leave you undisturbed, then." The aliens bowed and were about to move off, but Picard said quickly, "I would like to talk with your people here."

"They are yours," said one of the aliens, and they left him standing next to Beverly. 

Picard knelt down next to her. "Beverly, what do you mean, who am I?"

Beverly didn't look him in the eye, but continued planting as she spoke. "My name has not been assigned, Healing One. And I do not know who you are, or why you should call me 'Beverly'."

Picard made a sudden decision, hoping that these 'healing ones', whatever they were, had the authority to do what he was about to. "I have decided. Your assigned name is Beverly."

"And what is Enterprise?" She'd stopped planting, but still didn't look at him.

"It is where I am from. I believe it is your destiny to come with me."

"I am not yet worthy, Healing One." To Picard her words sounded like a customary response.

"Perhaps. I will conduct devotions alone now," Picard said, "but I will speak with you tonight." He walked off behind the trees. "One to beam up, Number One."

***

"We can't just beam her up," Deanna Troi was saying in the Observation Lounge. "We don't know what they've done to her, and until we can assess that, we won't know how to reverse the process."

Picard was nodding. He looked rather ridiculous in his usual uniform, but still in alien make-up. "I'll have to go back and speak to her again. See if it's only her short-term memory that's been affected."

"I should go," Deanna said. "As a psychologist I would find it easier to tell."

"I don't think so," Riker said. "We don't want to make these people suspicious by sending down another stranger." He looked at Picard, frowning. "Despite my better judgement, Sir, you WILL have to go back."

"Agreed." Picard stood up, pulled his jacket straight for about the fifth time that briefing, and exited the lounge.

***

Beverly was saying last-evening verses in her cubicle before retiring for the night when Picard opened the door and walked in. Beverly was quite startled - no one was to enter the cubicle of another for ANY reason except weekly health checks.

"May I help you?" she asked, not looking at him. A Healing One was supposed to have so much energy that looking at him took some away, and that was bad for the planet. 

But Picard said, "Beverly, look at me." 

She looked at him, truly looked, for the first time. And frowned. "J... Jean-Luc...?" The name just came to her; she didn't know where from. 

But she saw it made him happy, because he smiled and said, "Yes! That's right! Can you remember anything else?"

"No..." He was walking forward, and Beverly backed away. Touching was forbidden, it polluted one's purpose. "I can't remember," she said. "Please don't come any closer." 

Picard stopped. "All right. I want to show you something." He handed her a picture of Wesley. "Do you know who that is?" 

The fact that the child in the picture didn't look like the species she thought she was now didn't dawn on her. She simply stared, and then looked at Picard - straight at him. "It's my son."

"From?"

"I don't know, I... They said my life was meaningless before... Please go now." His presence was starting to unnerve her terribly. She shoved the picture back at him, waiting for him to take it. Instead,  
Picard took her hand and pressed the picture into it. "No, keep it. Think about your son. Wesley. Think about Jack. Think about the Enterprise." And then he did exit, leaving Beverly staring at the picture, feeling hopelessly confused.

***

"Captain, I insist you return to the Enterprise. We have a lock on Doctor Crusher. She's alone in her room, so we could beam her up."

"No, Number One. The aliens have brainwashed her somehow, but I think her memories are coming back."

"Captain," broke in Troi, "I think Will is right. Her memories might come back faster if she were in a familiar setting."

"I don't think so, Counselor. She's frightened. It may do more harm than good if we beam her up when she doesn't know who she is, or who we are."

"If she is frightened, you're probably right," conceded Deanna. "But try to stay nearby, because if she does get her memory back, the aliens may realise it and harm her."

"Agreed."

***

When Picard had closed off the channel, Riker turned to Troi. "You think this is how all those groups operate, don't you? By brainwashing people."

"Yes." Troi looked angry. "And we can't do anything because of the Prime Directive."

"What do you think will happen if Beverly doesn't get her memory back?"

"Let's hope it doesn't come to that."

It was mid-afternoon the next day when Picard went into Beverly's cubicle again. And again she looked frightened and confused.

"Wesley. He's my son, I... Jean-Luc... I feel safe when I'm near you, but you scare me. You shouldn't be in here."

By now Picard was starting to lose patience. The ship was overdue for their next stop, and some sort of alien interference was keeping his chief medical officer on the planet. Only he knew that it wasn't Beverly as chief medical officer that he really cared about. As he thought about these things, he suddenly had an idea. He moved towards the doctor. "I know, but..." He touched her, just her hand.

At first she stood there, unmoving, then her hand clasped his. Then she brought up her other hand and touched his cheek. Picard closed his eyes. When they opened, he moved closer... closer... until he had enveloped her in a hug.

Beverly's heart pounded, and she felt utterly powerless to know what to do. The alien imprint on her mind, however, howled at her that touching was NOT allowed, the physical body mattered not at all, and  
those that gave in to it set the movement back years and years. 

Beverly pulled away. "No! No touching." She looked at him angrily, breathing hard, with tears running down her cheeks. "You should know that. Why are you doing this?"

Picard only looked at her sadly, having gotten HIS breathing under control. "I want you to get your memories back."

"I don't need them!" she whispered defiantly. "They'll only be a reminder of a meaningless life."

"Your life - and mine - is not meaningless." Picard turned and left  
the cubicle.

***

That evening Crusher could not remember one of her verses. Instead, all she could see before her was Picard's face. But, strangely, it wasn't the one she'd seen that afternoon, it was a face of a different hue, and he was wearing a red costume that looked very familiar. Who are you? she yelled inside her head. Why are you doing this to me? No answer was forthcoming.

***

"Do you have our signals, Number One?" Picard was asking as he sat behind the hedge and the trees on the far side of the garden. No one was around, and he couldn't possibly be overheard... or seen. He'd just had to get out of the oppressive atmosphere of that... place.

"Aye, Sir, both strong."

"Commander, this is an order. It turns out Counselor Troi may have been right after all. If I haven't reached Doctor Crusher by midnight on this world, you're to beam us both up at the earliest available  
opportunity. Is that understood?"

"Clearly, Sir." Riker sounded immensely relieved.

"Good. Picard out."

Picard had just gotten up when he heard a rustling noise, and Beverly Crusher came around the trees and faced him. "I knew you'd be here. It's where you came from when I first saw you." Picard said  
nothing, so she came closer. "Who are you? I know you, I feel it inside, in me. We don't belong here, do we? Either of us."

"No, we don't."

Beverly put both hands on either side of his head, looked closely at hi, trying to see through him, to fathom why she felt this way, why it felt as though someone had put her insides in a... a blender. "Where  
do we belong, Jean-Luc?"

"On the Enterprise." Picard took her hands and held them together in front of her.

"We belong together, don't we?"

"What? I don't..."

"We do, don't we?" she persisted. "I felt it, when you held me, when you touched me. I need you, I want you with me. In me, here. Always."

Picard knew he'd gone a little too far with his counter-amnesia act. "Beverly, we can go back to the Enterprise. Let me - " But she put her lips to his, and kissed him.

***

"Commander, perhaps you'd better have a look at this," said O'Brien.

"What?" Riker bent over the transporter console. "The signals are breaking up."

"No, Sir, they're not. They're... confused. They're... blending in some way."

"Did you check the sensors?"

"Yes, Sir. The sensors are fine."

"Are the captain and Doctor Crusher in the same location? That might account for it."

"They were. I had two distinct patterns, and then this." O'Brien indicated the strange configuration.

Riker looked at the screen for a beat, and then a ridiculous smile broke over his face. "Chief, if they were... say, holding one another, would that do it?"

O'Brien frowned. "Maybe."

"Well, Chief," said Riker jovially, clapping O'Brien on the back, "keep monitoring, and let me know when the patterns clear up."

"What makes you think it's not a glitch? If you don't mind me asking," the transporter chief added quickly.

"Just a hunch," smiled Riker.

***

Picard put out a hand and wiped a strand of red hair away from Beverly's forehead, looking down at her, smiling. Beverly looked up at him, then through him, through herself... and remembered. She jumped up, brushing leaves from her robe, closing it, straightening it. "The Enterprise! They... they wanted to speak to me about something, and one of them touched me. Here." She indicated just above the bridge of her nose. "And suddenly I knew all about their cause... it's a noble one, but..."

Picard stood up, smoothing his robe. "But brainwashing people's not the way to go about it."

Beverly turned so that she wasn't facing him. "No."

"We're nearly a week overdue for our next assignment." He put a hand on Beverly's shoulder. "Time to go."

Beverly still didn't look at him. "All right."

"Picard to Enterprise. Two to beam up."

***

"So, how am I?" Crusher asked Doctor Martin, smiling with a lightness she did not feel.

"Fine. Scans show your memories haven't been affected. Apparently the alien brainwashing doesn't work too well on a human brain. All it did was suppress your memories for a while. The associations Captain Picard tried worked fine."

"Good." Crusher wanted to hop off the biobed, but Martin put out a restraining hand. "I think you forgot something."

"What?"

"To go human again."

"Oh, heck! Right!" Crusher smiled. "Well, hurry up."

"You know," the other doctor said as he adjusted settings on the hypospray, "that colour goes well with your hair."

Crusher looked down at her yellow hands. "Yeah. Lucky for me a lot of the females on the planet had red hair, huh?"

Martin smiled, going about his work.

***

Beverly Crusher was very tired, but she didn't go to bed. The briefing had been short, and she had agreed that they should leave the planet alone. Survey teams at this stage were not a good idea either, since  
brainwashing occurred so easily. They had all left, except for herself and Picard. She had stood there for an interminable ten minutes waiting for him to say something, but he hadn't. So she'd left. But something in her knew that it wasn't in Picard's nature to leave things unresolved. So she waited for him.

She was curled into a foetal position on the couch, fast asleep, when her door chimed. "Huh? Uh... come in."

"Beverly, we should talk about this."

"No, I'll talk, you listen. Questions afterwards." Her tone brooked no argument. "I'm not going to apologise, ask you to say you love me, or any of that nonsense, Jean-Luc. I think we both know the score. What happened down there wouldn't have if you didn't want me, or if I didn't want you. Fine. Now we're here on the ship and it's as it was, and that's fine too. Any questions?"

Picard stood up, smiling. "Just three."

"Well, go ahead."

"Will I see you for breakfast tomorrow?"

"Absolutely."

"How about supper?"

"Okay."

"And everything in between?"

That surprised her, but she didn't let it show, or hesitate, for one second. "Why not." She stood up and held out her hand, loving him.

Picard, loving her more than ever, walked forward and took it.

THE END


End file.
